HA! I knew I was right!

Went out last night to watch Game 4 of the Finals. Had a good time with the company (James from Ramblings of a Beggar) but the game was driving me crazy.

Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy) writes Retro-Diaries for games that he enjoyed or puzzled him. I'm not going to steal his idea (that would be crap) but I do want to do something like that. I'll call it 20/20:

8:50 p.m.: Order some chili-cheese fries. Heather says I ordered them because she wouldn't let me eat them...actually, they just sounded good.

What this really means: As James said, we feel manly when we eat Chili Cheese Fries.

8:55: James arrives and we start talking. For 2 guys with 7 kids between them, we've got plenty to talk about.

What this really means: Guys with kids are more interesting than you think!

End of the First half: I look up and we're sucking. Losing by 12. At this point James says "Do you think the Lakers have a comeback in them?" to which I answer "They better!"

What this really means: My stomach is starting to reject my Open-Face Roast Beef Sandwich.

Beginning of the Second half: Still talking

What this really means: Guys with kids have alot going on.

James asks me who makes me crazy on the Lakers: I say "Bynum, because he needs to gain 50 lbs, like yesterday!" James says he was thinking Lamar Odom, because he's so inconsistent. I shoot back with "Yeah, he's just an inconsistent player. I can handle that."

What this really means: Andrew Bynum makes me crazy.

Now James asks me my favorite question: "Why is Derek Fisher getting more minutes than Jordan Farmar?" Jordan's the future, but D-Fish is our 2nd best defender (IMO) and at the end of a game if a shot needs to be made, he'll drill it."

What this really means: Derek Fisher is my only hope right now.

Moments later: The Lakers are within 4, I look up, realize they're within 4 and breathe a sigh of relief.

What this really means: That sandwich is looking up!

Moments after that: Pietrus is just standing in front of Kobe with his hands at his side. It's like they're having a conservation in the middle of the game. Maybe Kobe was smack-talking in French, who knows. Then Kobe jacks up this sideways 3 right in Pietrus' face without Pietrus even making an effort to defend, and it goes down anyways. Kobe more than likely smack-talks some more in French just for emphasis.

What this really means: For all the good he's done, Pietrus is actually a doofus.

All by the last 5 seconds of the second half: We talk, James moves his chair to get a better view and my head is swirling because I can't believe we're going to lose.

What this really means: Sandwich took a nose dive!

5 seconds left: Kobe mauls Dwight and I'm dying because I really think we're sunk.

What this really means: I hate being wrong.

Dwight goes to the line: I'm cringing just waiting for the first free throw to drop so I can ask for our check.

What this really means: You caught the cringing part right?

Dwight misses the first one: I'm thinking "If he misses the second one Derek Fisher is going to make him pay.

What this really means: He's not ready, even is they win this game.

Dwight misses the 2nd: and I'm tapping my foot faster than I ever have. The nervous energy is ridiculous.

What this really means: If he doesn't win a championship his entire career will be defined historically by Free Throws.

The Lakers inbound: The ball goes to D-Fish and Jameer Nelson doesn't bother to play defense. The shot goes down. James remembers what I said earlier and stares at me in disbelief with mouth agape. I love this game!

What this really means: I was right!

Overtime starts: and just hoping for a miracle, because the Orlando Cockroaches(I mean, Magic) just won't die.

What this really means: You caught the cockroach part, right?

31.3 seconds left in overtime: D-Fish drills another 3. I could see it coming. He got hot at the right time. James isn't shocked this time.

What this really means: I was right twice! HA!

Moments later: Pau takes a sick run down the court and dunks with Pietrus leaning into his back. At this point I think there was a language-barrier. Pau with his Spanish accent and Pietrus with his Frenchiness. More than likely Pietrus said something like (insert bad french villian accent)"Hu, hu!!! Why must you dunk on us like theeeeeeeeeeeees!" and Pau said (insert Zorro here) "Because I squash bugs like you for sport! Hahaha!" I'm just sayin'.

What this really means: If I didn't already hate French, I would now. That whole exchange was ridiculous.

The Lakers go up 3-1

What this really means: This series is officially over. Sorry Orlando, better luck when Kobe, Pau and D-Fish retire.